


((You)) They Don't See Me

by ServantofFeeless



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, T-Cest, Turtlecest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 15:07:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14751197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ServantofFeeless/pseuds/ServantofFeeless
Summary: Nothing mattered anymore. All his dreams had been obliterated and all his hopes faded into an abyss of darkness. His world had lost its color, and he lost the sparkle of passion in his emerald eyes.They don't see him.





	1. Not once, not twice, not thrice but four.

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfic is based on the 2012 series, this is set AFTER the series finale. The turtles are older now. This fic contains major spoilers, so if you haven't watched the TMNT 2012 episodes Requiem and Owari, then you need to do so before you read this. You'll see when you read the prologue of this story why it was crucial to see those episodes.
> 
> This is a fanfiction where the turtles have a poly relationship with each other. If you don't like poly relationships please back oUT of this fanfiction now.
> 
>  
> 
> Mostly a Raph-centric fanfiction.  
> This fanfic was inspired heavily by the song: You Don't See Me by Safetysuit!
> 
> Warning: Angst and feels ahead! MAJOR ANGST AND FEELS. This fic is gonna be a wild ride. Especially for Raph fans and for Raph himself! So, I implore all of you to prepare thine bodies for this fanfic. You're gonna need to steel yourself to survive! Now that the warning is over let's get to the first chapter.

Raphael wasn't as thick-headed as everyone thought him to be. He knew more than he'd ever let on. He was well aware of what his eldest brother Leonardo, and his two younger brothers Donatello and Michelangelo did behind closed doors. Ever since Sensei perished by way of Shredder's gauntlet, nothing had been the same.

 

 

Things began to change, and it was the small things Raph noticed first. The way Mikey would seek out Leo and Donnie's comfort. The way Leo and Donnie would whisper soothing words to their youngest brother. The next thing Raph knew, Mikey's baby blue eyes held a new emotion whenever he looked over at Leo and Donnie both.

 

Then the same change happened with Donnie's burgundy eyes, his gaze would soften and would reflect the same emotion Mikey had in his eyes. It took Leo's sapphire blues a little longer to soften, but it happened.

 

Raph was mostly curious and confused about this recent development. It became even more so baffling when he came to the realization that his three brothers looked at each other in a way that they had never looked at him.

 

This activated his inner ninja and his ever-burning curiosity to find out what was going on with the three of his brothers. He'd follow them whenever they went out, though they'd always manage to evade him in the end.

So, after several failed attempts to tail them he resigned the chase and just stuck to snooping around the lair for any clues. He'd also eavesdrop whenever he could, listening at Mikey's door.

 

However, months rolled on by and more and more changed. He noticed that Leo, Donnie and Mikey would go off more and more together.

  
Leaving him by himself at night, to go running out under the stars together. They would just ditch him, not telling him they were going for a moonlit rendezvous.

 

Of course, this would royally tick him off and he'd go hunting through the eventide for them. But, more often than not he'd come home after hours of searching and find them all curled up on the living room floor, on a spare mattress, sleeping soundly.

  
It slowly began to eat away at him, driving him up a wall. He needed to satisfy his curiosity, he needed to know what was going on with his brothers.

 

He needed to know why they were acting this way. He needed to know like he needed air to breathe. The mystery was suffocating and it teased him relentlessly, but then one day, or rather one-night Raph found out what had been going down. And by down, he meant that his brothers were going down on each other.

 

He had heard the unmistakable sounds of pleasured moaning from Mikey one night, passing the dojo door. Raph had peeked in, only for his emerald eyes to be greeted by his three brothers making passionate love with each other. He quickly ducked away before anyone could spot him, and retreated to his room.

 

After time wore away the shock of seeing his three brothers having a turtle orgy, Raph felt his heart thumping rapidly within his chest.

The red clad ninja felt heat rise to his cheeks, his mouth was dry and he was sweaty. Hot underneath the turtleshell, one might say. After that night, Raph began to spy on his three brothers.

 

Thirsty to see more of what this new change would mean for their family. It was then Raph became aware that his three brothers weren't just sexually involved with each other. They actually loved each other, beyond just being brothers. He would see them go on dates, see them exchange gentle kisses, hear them whispering sweet nothings to each other.

 

The more Raph observed his brothers, the more his heart fluttered and the deeper he began to fall for all three of them. He fell for Leonardo first, of all his brothers to fall for first it had to be Fearless, didn't it?

  
He just got lost in those sapphire eyes of his, he'd find himself distracted by the lovely mint-green hue his skin was. Then there was Leo's voice, holy shell, damn it all and what Leo's voice did to him.

 

The blue masked leader had no idea how crazy he was driving Raph. But that was Raph's fault entirely, he'd be damned if he ever let Leo know. Hey, he still had a rep to keep, and if Leo knew what he had done...then Raph might as well throw away his gear and exile himself. Raph often found himself, soloing in his room, a trembling, panting, hot and lustful mess of a turtle.

 

Raph would bite into his pillow and moan Leo's name as he stroked his own member, hard, fast and rough. He enjoyed the twinges of pain that came with his pumps, in fact it would delight and excite him.

  
He had thus far kept his soloing a secret from Leo, Donnie and Mikey and that's the way he wanted it.

 

Now, as for who he fell for next? That would be their purple masked brother, Donatello. Raph couldn't help but find him charming in his own way, even though half of the time Raph had no clue what came out of Donnie's mouth. There was just something about the passion Donnie had for his machines and for science, that Raph found alluring.

 

Raph assumed that he found Donnie charming, due to the fact that Donnie was just as passionate for machines and science, as Raph was passionate about fighting.

 

Even though they were on a completely different scale and their passions so different, the fact remained that they both enjoyed what they do.

 

Also, Donnie had really mellowed out since Sensei passed on. Becoming more patient and becoming harder to anger. He also picked up being a medic, he realized after Sensei died that he had to be prepared if one of his other family members got wounded. So, that he could give them a fighting chance that he wasn't able to give Splinter.

 

Raph enjoyed Donnie's calmer and more level-headed demeanor. Raph looked forward to being patched up by Don whenever he got injured and it would take all his will power to not shiver from his delicate touches.

 

Finally, Raph had fallen for Mikey, yeah that's a shocker ain't it? But it was the truth. There was just something about seeing the sparkle return to Mikey's eyes, that was lost when Sensei died, so overwhelming to Raph. He hadn't seen that sparkle in so long, it made his heart skip beats.

 

But, that wasn't all that Raph loved and admired about Mikey. Raph just couldn't keep his mind off of how adorable Mikey was.

  
Normally, Raph had a distaste for adorable things, the only exceptions were his pets, he didn't mind if they were cute, for Ninjutsu's sake he had Chompy as his pet. However there was just something about Mikey's adorableness he couldn't help but find appealing. So much so it was driving him stir crazy in his vain attempts at figuring it out.

 

Raph especially loved the freckles on Mikey's face. They only enhanced Mikey's overall adorableness. Not to mention, Mikey had matured quite a lot and this only added to Raph's feelings of attraction towards his youngest brother.

 

His baby brother was not only more skilled, but he was stronger as well. He was less goofy, and more focused and serious. Though, he still goofed around, it just wasn't as frequent as it had been while they were growing up.

 

Another thing Raph loved about Mikey was his giant heart. Mikey always tried to look on the positive side, and he always believed someone had a little good inside of them. That even the worst person could change and become someone worthwhile.

 

Raph would imagine himself with his brothers. Sharing tender and loving moments, kissing, cuddles, whispering sweet nothings, all those things Raph thought were just pointless mushy shenanigans.

 

Suddenly, he wanted all those things, he craved to be with his brothers. He'd stare at them from afar, timidly and unsure. They never seemed to notice him, though. Maybe they just didn't realize he was staring at them?

 

Maybe they just missed the gentle stares he gave them and the subtle hints, as well? That's what he thought ataleast, and it only ended in pain. How naïve was he to think that he'd ever have what his three brothers had together?

 

It wasn't until almost a year had marched on by that Raph realized something. Something that dashed his hopes, crushed his very soul and shattered his heart.

 

He should have realized it sooner. He thought back to when he realized that his brothers had never given him the looks they had given each other.

 

He looked back into his memories, and the piece of the puzzle he had been missing finally snapped into the puzzle. His brothers hadn't looked at him like they looked at each other back then....

 

And they hadn't given him that look ever... not even now.

 

This was why Raph was currently parked on his ass, atop a rooftop, chugging down his fifth bottle of alcohol.

  
Even though it was closing in on the winter months, and the days were becoming ever colder. He chugged and chugged, not even caring the liquid was burning his throat.

 

They didn't love him like they loved each other. They didn't love him like they loved each other. They didn't love HIM like they loved EACH OTHER.

  
The empty beer bottle shattered in his harsh grip. The shards of glass dug into the palm of his hand and into his fingers. He felt the unpleasant sting of alcohol festering in the lacerations left behind by the glass.

 

But he didn't care...nothing mattered anymore. All his dreams had been obliterated and all his hopes faded into an abyss of darkness. His world had lost its color, and he lost the sparkle of passion in his emerald eyes.

  
He had become no better than a wandering zombie, only caring about its next meal. That was all Raph was now, all he cared about was living day to day, but other than that he hardly took care of himself.

 

His brothers didn't even notice, or if they did they hadn't approached him about it. Perhaps they just thought he was in one of his moods again and it would pass? Well, he hated to disappoint, but that's what he was fated to do.

 

A broken heart wasn't something you just bounced back from. Now try having your heart broken not once, not twice, but thrice over and then getting back up on your feet after that? Yeah, that's not something so easily recovered from.

 

Wasn't it hilarious that he could power his way through injuries that would otherwise kill someone? But he was crippled to the point of drinking away his life over his three timed broken heart?

  
He had survived so many lethal injuries yet his broken heart is what was slowly killing him? How pathetic had he truly become. He was withering away like a red rose, gradually losing its petals and wilting. And no one was there to catch him as he was falling.

 

No one...his shadow was his only friend and his echo of sorrow was the only thing that was calling back to him. Though, at least he had a shoulder to cry on and he couldn't be more relieved.

 

  
His best friend Casey had found him, and Raph promptly threw himself at Casey and broke down for the first time since Sensei died.

 

 

He couldn't tell Casey why, of course. And Casey understood that he didn't want to talk, so he didn't pry into the issue.

 

  
Casey had also matured over the years and he learned that a key component to a healthy friendship was respecting each other's boundaries.

 

 

Casey didn't know why Raph was putting up a boundary for why he was this messed up, but it didn't matter. The only thing that mattered now, is Casey being here for his best bud and that's what he was going to do.

 

  
"I got yah, Raph, it's gonna be okay. Whatever happened, I promise you'll survive it. I'll help yah survive it, it's what I'm here for."  He said softly, patting the back of Raph's shell. "Now let's get yah back to me an' April's apartment and get your hand patched up." 

 

 

Raph could only nod at this. He almost couldn't understand what Casey was saying. But he got the gist of it. He managed to hear Casey saying something along the lines of it would be okay. That he promised, and that he was going to take him to his and April's place to patch up his hand.

 

 

Casey helped Raph up to his feet, "C'mon buddy, let's get yah to the apartment, patched up and into bed. Yah have had more than enough to drink tonight." He led Raph carefully down the fire escape of the building, and he pulled Raph along through the shadows of the night to get to the apartment complex.

 

"Up yah go, bud, it's gonna rain soon." Casey assisted in helping Raph up the ladder of the apartment complex's fire escape. And then when they got to his and April's apartment he opened the window, which April always left unlocked for Casey to use to come back home from his vigilante escapades.

 

 

When he got Raph inside, April freaked out, and immediately got to work helping the red masked turtle. She carefully took tweezers to Raph's hand and meticulously removed each and every shard of glass.

 

She then washed his hand with antibacterial soap and lukewarm water. Then she poured disinfectant on the cuts for good measure, before she placed white ninja bandages over his hand.

 

That night, Raph crashed at Casey and April's place. Lying on an extra mattress in their living room. When the alcohol began to wear thin in his system and he started to sober up, his thoughts returned, and even louder this time.

 

_They don't love you like that. They don't love you like that. They don't love you like that. They don't...they don't...they never did. Damn it why does this fucking hurt so much? Why does this hurt worse than any wound I've ever endured?_

 

Raph buried his face into the extra pillow Casey gave him. The fluffy fabric of the pillow muffled his whimpers. He could feel his heart threatening to break again... when would it end? When would this misery end, damn it, Raph just wanted it to end.

 

_They don't see the way you look at them. They don't look at you like you look at them. They don't look at you...they don't look at you. Why? Why don't they look at me?! Why don't they see me like they see each other?! Why? Why don't they see me?_

Raphael's heart broke for the fourth time.

 

_They don't see me._


	2. The Prisoner and the Warden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are tense at the lair. Will Leo, Donnie and Mikey decide to try and figure out what's bugging Raph or will they leave him well enough alone? Figure out what they decide to do in this chapter!

Breakfast the next morning at the lair was uneasy to say the least, Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo had sensed a significant shift in Raphael's aura. They weren't certain what they should make of it. All they knew was that his aura was giving off rather unpleasant vibes. None of them spoke nary a word as they consumed the meal Mikey had prepared for them this morning.

 

Scrambled eggs, toast, waffles, and sausage and finally, to top it all off they all each had a glass of refreshing and delicious orange juice. Though two out of four turtles, namely Leo and Raph, liked apples way better than oranges. They still enjoyed orange juice to an extent, they enjoyed it even more so than just eating an orange.

 

Mikey and Donnie however preferred to eat oranges, and drink apple juice. Since they loved oranges and orange juice equally, but they didn't much care for apples, unless in juice form. As the four nineteen-year-old teens, just shy of their twentieth mutation day, continued to consume their breakfast Leo, Donnie and Mikey kept sneaking subtle glances at each other.

 

They were all highly concerned about their hotheaded brother, something was off in the universe and it was ringing alarm bells in their heads. But, they just didn't know how to approach the issue, seeing as they had no idea what it might be. In fact, they could all be fretting over nothing, because Raph could just be hormonally imbalanced.

 

Puberty was often a frustrating and emotional time, even for those of the male gender. Males were not immune to the emotional turmoil that came with the changes of their bodies as they became adults.

 

So, in all honesty, Raph could just be experiencing some emotional turmoil due to hormones. All them were nineteen after all, so it wasn’t far fetched to believe the Sai-wielder was gripped with rage inducing hormones. However something was seriously flawed about the hormonal theory.

 

They were all aware about their hotheaded brother’s escapade to Casey and April’s apartment last night. Leo had caught Raph sneaking back into the lair at three AM in the morning. And to Donnie and Mikey’s shock there hadn’t been an argument between the two as so often was the case.

 

Instead of a fight Raphael had obeyed Leo without any rebelliousness to be found. Leo had been aiming to give Raph a long winded lecture about being up and about at three AM, and about all the dangerous situations he could have found himself in.

 

Especially since Leo picked up the scene of faded alcohol on Raphael. The Sai-wielder could have run into some street gangs doing illegal activity or something of that nature. Crime was more rampant at night and in the early hours of the morning.

 

Leo didn’t want Raphael to be so reckless and end up injured or worse. They couldn’t afford to lose another family member so soon after Splinter’s passing. Instead of fighting like Leo assumed he would Raph only nodded dismally at the lecture. Keeping silent as Leo went on his tirade of how reckless he was. It wasn’t until five minutes in that Leo realized Raph hadn’t once rose his voice in his own defense.

 

Leo’s lecture had died in his throat as not only did Raphael remain silent in the face of his tangent, but the Sai-wielder had walked over to him and leaned up against him.

 

The atmosphere turning from tense to awkward in just a matter of seconds. The leader in blue was uncertain with how he should react to his immediate younger brother’s action.

 

Then Raphael gave him another unexpected but not unwelcome gesture. Leonardo had felt Raphael’s arms wrap around him. Raph had given him the faintest of embraces, resting his forehead against his shoulder.

 

Stunned and very taken aback Leo just stood there for a few moments, trying to figure out what in the name of Ninjutsu was going on.

 

His thoughts however had been broken by the slightest of trembling. He could have sworn Raph had tightened his hug at that point, though the hug was still very feeble in nature.

 

Leo hadn’t known what to do at that moment in time. He was so lost and confused, he knew how to deal with Raph’s temperamental issues. But this… this was something he had no clue how to handle. So he had done the only thing on his mind at the time and returned the hug.

 

He wrapped his arms around Raphael gently and softly he rubbed at the back of his shell. This had caused the Sai-wielder to shiver and press himself close against Leo. And Leo had never been more stunned in his entire nineteen years of existence.

 

Nothing last night had made any sense to the mint green skinned terrapin. Raphael was making no sense, nothing about the situation made sense. The red clad turtle had seemed so fragile and vulnerable in that moment.

Like as though he would break at any given moment, and that had terrified Leo to his very core. He had never witnessed his immediate younger brother so broken.  
Even when Sensei had perished, Raphael hadn’t acted in such a manner.

 

Even though the Hothead hadn’t shed any tears last night, Leo could feel an overwhelming wave of anguish and sorrow radiating from him. There was something wrong with their red clad brother, Leo had experienced it first hand last night.

 

And as he stared at the hothead picking uninterested at his breakfast before him, Leo knew for a fact that that it wasn’t hormones that was causing his brother distress.

 

He glanced over at Donnie and Mikey as well and the looks the gave him only proved that the hormone theory was ludicrous at best.

 

He had told them about everything that had happened last night before Raphael woke. Mikey had prepared this breakfast as a way to hopefully cheer up Raphael.

 

Yet the attempt was thus far appearing a wasted effort on their parts, Raph was just distant and uninterested. His chin resting on the table and his emerald eyes dulled and unfocused.

 

Leo didn’t need to speak to Donnie or Mikey to know what they were all thinking. The knew it wasn’t hormones Raph was suffering from. Now they had a whole new mystery to solve, something was seriously wrong with the Sai-wielder.

Leo, Donnie and Mikey all stared each other down intently and in silent agreement they all vowed to figure out what was wrong with Raph and do everything in the power to ease the source of distress that had befallen him.

 

However what they couldn’t begin to fathom was that they themselves were the source of his dejection. The first to try their hand at cheering up Raphael had been Michelangelo, he discarded his breakfast on the counter before he scooted over to Raph.

 

“Hey Raph ol’ buddy ol’ pal!” He gave him a bright and cheery smile. “Would you like to play some video games this morning with me? I actually got some new ones from April a few days ago and-“

 

“No…” Raph replied in a deadpan, immediately shooting down Mikey’s idea before it had the chance to soar. He wasn’t looking at Mikey, instead he was staring at his food as if suddenly it had become the most interesting thing in the universe.

 

“Oh…” Mikey mumbled, feeling disappointment settling within the pit of his stomach, casing it to churn and pang with frustration. Though this disappointment and frustration weren’t directed towards his woe begone older brother. It was directed towards himself, he felt as though he were floundering like a brain dead fish.  
He wanted to help Raph but he had been shot down without hesitation.

 

Clearly he was doing something wrong in his attempt at cheering Raph up. “Well uh…maybe we can uhm watch a movie…?” His words felt forced and sounded pathetic to his own ears. He'd screwed up and now he was struggling to bounce back from it.

 

The look in Raph’s emerald eyes told him his answer. The emerald eyes that had once had so much fiery passion and vibrancy to them were now faded and dull. The passion in those emerald eyes had somehow fizzled out of existence, this caused Mikey’s heart to skip several beats.

 

Red flags were waving off in his head and he felt sweat trickle down the back of his neck. He felt as though an ice cube had been dropped into his shell as a horribly timed joke. For a chill over took him at that very moment.

 

He had never seen his brother like this before, and he wondered if this was how Leo had felt last night when Raph hadn’t fought with him. He glanced desperately over at Leo and Donnie, hoping that they had a solution for whatever it was that had mercilessly left Raph in such a state.

 

Donnie got up much to Mikey’s relief and patted him on the shoulder silently assuring him he’d take it from here. Dejectedly Mikey nodded and went to grab his breakfast he had discarded on the counter, but he didn’t feel hungry any longer so he dumped the last of it.

 

The baby blue eyed ninja decided to sit back down at the table and held hid breath, waiting in anticipation to see if Donnie could lift Raph’s sunken spirits.

 

Donnie nervously fidgeted with the tails of his purple mask. “So uh….Raph you uhm….did you run into any street punks along the way home last night, and give them a fight they soon shan’t forget?” Inwardly Donnie was inwardly kicking himself at his feeble attempt to encourage any cheerfulness from Raphael. Even though fighting usually put a perk back in Raph’s step whenever he was in a sour mood, it didn’t seem as though this angle was going to cut it.

 

“No.” Raph echoed his deadpan from earlier. He pushed his breakfast away, his stomach churning, his thoughts and emotions spiraling out of control. An overwhelming wave of uncomfortable warmth and nausea overtaking his entire being.

 

Why were they acting so damn concerned over him and fussing over him now, when they hadn’t given a damn before this morning? Why were they even attempting to talk with him? They had more or less been too caught up with their own stupid lovey dovey endeavors for the past year to notice anything that was troubling him.

 

Why were they even trying…? He didn’t understand their motives, why would they care now? When they hadn’t given a damn for nearly a year, they hadn’t noticed how lonely he had been then. So why were they oh so conveniently noticing that something was seriously wrong with him right this very moment?

 

It made him feel sick to his stomach, and he wanted to do nothing more than yell and cry. But he didn’t even have the energy for that anymore, he had already done all of the last night. He didn’t wish to repeat what happened last night in front of his brothers.

 

Besides they didn’t see him like they saw each other. It wouldn’t even matter if he spilled his heart out to the three of them, they loved each other and that’s the cold hard truth. He closed his emerald eyes, wanting to drift away into nonexistence if only for a few precious moments. He didn’t want to feel this hollowness within him any longer.

 

“Raph?” The Sai-wielder didn’t need to open his eyes to know whom that voiced belonged to. He felt the owner of said voice timidly rest his hand against his shoulder. “I don’t know what’s going on, little brother but just know we’re here for you. Whatever it is, whatever happened to you- we’ll be here for you and help you get through it.”

 

Raph’s heart felt as though someone had shoved a katana through it and some cruel bastard was twisting the damn handle. He only bitterly wished he could believe Leo when he said those words of attempted comfort. However he couldn’t come to believe them.

 

Not after how abandoned his brothers had made him feel in the year they had spent loving each other  
Why couldn’t he be apart of that? What was he missing?

 

He didn’t grace Leo with a response to his words. Instead he forced a low and painful dry laugh dismissing Leo’s words entirely, “Don’t waste your damn time Fearless, ain’t nothing has happened. M’just….” He trailed off debating his next choice of words carefully. “Sick….sick and tired…” He opened an emerald eye a crack to gaze up at Leo to gauge his reaction.

 

Of course as expected Leo’s expression told him everything he needed to know. Leo didn’t believe him for one second, Raph hadn’t expected him to but just for once he hoped Leo wouldn’t be so damn inquisitive and just drop the subject altogether.

 

Well he got what he desired, yet the victory felt hollow for it wasn’t Leonardo who pressed the matter it was Donatello. And at that moment Raph wished someone would just kill him and put him out of his damn misery. Or, at the very least knock him out so he didn’t have to deal with all this prying and digging at him.

 

“Oh no, you know very well that’s not it!’ Donatello said sharply, getting rather annoyed with this little game of secrecy.

 

Although Donnie had calmed down in the recent years, he was still prone to being frustrated. He wouldn’t snap like he had before but he would still make his displasure known through the tone of his voice. And right now the tone of his voice felt like someone was scraping against something inside Raph’s head.

 

“We aren’t simpletons Raphael, we know that something happened to you.” Donatello began, trying not to let anymore frustration leak into his voice.

 

He didn’t wish for Raph to distance himself from the three of them, well more than he already was anyways. “We can’t help you if we don’t know what’s wrong Raph…”

 

The purple clad turtle took in a breath and released his frustration in the form of a deep sigh, as he allowed the flash of momentary vexation to pass.

 

“Look Raphael it’s just…we…we want to assist you but you’re pushing as away. I’m not certain as to why you’re doing this, but obviously you’re in some sort of distress. We can only provide you as much assistance as you will allow us to.”

 

The figurative katana blade twisted inside Raph's heart again. Why couldn’t they just shut the hell up already? Why were they tormenting him like this?

Why were they attempting to make him believe they actually cared. They hadn’t given a care in the damn world about him for a year, why would it change now?

 

He didn’t realize it but he had rested his forehead against the table, hiding his face against the cold surface of the tile.

 

Leo was at a loss, and as he looked at Mikey and Donnie’s expressions he realized they were as well. With a soft sigh he timidly placed his hand against the back of Raph’s shell and then gently caressed his carapace.

 

It was the only thing that came to mind that he should do. He recalled in their tot days that gently caressing Raph’s shell would soothe him.

 

Raphael tensed almost immediately as Leo stroked his hand along his carapace. He couldn’t help his reaction to this action, he had become conditioned to respond in calm at being caressed like this. He relaxed under Leo’s touch and closed his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh as he did so.

 

A small smile graced Leo’s face and he glanced over at Donnie and Mikey. His younger brothers turned lovers smiled back at him. It would seem Leo had soothed Raphael at least for now, and hopefully after this he’d finally tell them what was going on

 

It wasn’t long before the four turtle brothers found themselves lying on the spare mattress in the middle of the living room floor. Raphael in the middle of the cuddle pile, the red masked turtle was snuggled against Leonardo.

 

Currently Raph was resting his forehead against Leo’s upper plastron. Raphael couldn’t help but notice how protective Leo’s embrace was, so was Donatello’s, and although Mikey wasn’t able to hug Raphael due to spooning Donnie, his hand was resting on the back of Raph's shell.

 

Raphael didn’t know how he ever got roped into this, but well he would be lying if he denied he was enjoying this.  
For a moment- and just a moment before he drifted off into sleep, he believed his brothers cared for him. Alas it was only for just a moment before his belief faded.

 

He knew it was foolish that he didn’t believe that his brothers cared after such an affectionate display.  
Yet, his grieving broken heart was louder than thunder. It ruled out all his reasoning and ruined any chance of him to believe in the words and actions of his brothers. As his hope fizzled and died, he was left in the darkness of a prison of his own creation.

 

Where he was the prisoner and the warden.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well it looks like an attempt was made by Raphael's brothers. 
> 
> Now if only they knew the reason as to why he was so woe begone then perhaps more progress could have been made. 
> 
> But we all know Raphael as stubborn as he is its going to take a long time for him to admit what's got him so low spirited. 
> 
> And it will also take a while before he believes this his brothers care for him. He's been so lonely and felt so neglected for a year. Of course Leo, Donnie and Mikey couldn't have know how Raph felt and didn't mean to cause him to feel this way. 
> 
>  
> 
> Will they ever find out what's wrong with Raphael? And as they put a neglected Raphael back together piece by piece will they fall for him? Or perhaps they've loved him all along? Who knows for certain. All I can tell you is that the wait is worth waiting for and I'm certain you will all be pleased with it.


End file.
